The "I Do" Morph

I have been engaged since Christmas Day 2008. It seems like forever ago that Mike popped the question, but really the past 14 months have flown by. Now, our wedding is less than four months away, or precisely 114 days from right now. At this time in 114 days I will be putting the finishing touches on my hair and make-up and having my bridesmaids slip into their dresses before helping me get into mine. What an ordeal I'm imagining it to be, but really, I know it's going to fly by quickly. Next year at this time I'll probably be wondering where the time went and sad that I wasn't able savor more of it. But anyway, the point is, there are only 114 more days before I'm determined to look "my best."

I've always taken decent care of myself and been right on top of hygiene, etc., but I've taken measures never taken before by me to make sure that on the day that I don the white wedding gown that I'm looking better than ever. Lose 20 lbs -- check (down 35 actually and still dropping), whiten teeth -- check (in the process at least), find consistent skin regimen -- well, that's the one I'm struggling with ....

I really thought that my biggest hurdle during this process of being motivated to become a better version of myself would be losing weight and being happy with my body. Although I'm not 100% thrilled with my body yet, the losing weight, eating better and exercising part of this "new me" is one of the easiest changes yet! I've never had the greatest skin, and I can probably chalk that up to the crap I shoved in my mouth along with every other reason in the book, but I've always washed my face in the morning and evening, etc., etc. I decided to try to control my skin once and for all and bought Proactiv. Let me tell you, my skin has never looked worse. I swear my face is exploding from the inside out and I'm terrified that I'm going to look like a 15-year-old boy in the middle of puberty on the day of my wedding!

I'm going to stop using Proactiv, but what should I use instead? I tried making an appointment with a local dermatologist on my health care plan and they are scheduling 16 weeks out --- that's four months or approximately my wedding date! Man this sucks.

Why can't transforming yourself come easy? I've said from the get-go that any changes I'm making to my body or myself are not for my wedding, and I'm still sticking with that. Whether I have a pimple on my chin or my hair is out of place or I only lost 35 lbs instead of 45 lbs on my wedding day, it's still going to be one of the best days of my life. It simply took me until I was 25-26 to decide that I want more from myself and damn it, I'm going to get it.

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By the way, my new find for weight loss cuisine is Progresso soups, and I'm not kidding. If you want a good low-calorie but filling dinner grab a can of soup, it really does work!

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And for shits and giggles, Here's a picture of me today (On the Right) and I threw in a photo from September (On the Left). Any difference?