Compliments Not Always Welcome, but Necessary

You can ask anyone that knows me, I struggle when it comes to accepting a compliment. I know I've brought this up before, but I really find it difficult to just smile and say thank you when someone tells me I look great, asks if I've lost weight or compliments what I'm wearing. I have no idea why it's so hard, but sometimes I even find a simple positive statement unbearable to receive cordially.

Even though I have no idea how to properly accept a compliment, I've discovered that part of my losing weight/gaining confidence process is receiving them. I don't think I'd actually be doing as well as I am if I didn't have people telling me that I look good, or that they can see the difference every once in awhile. Hopefully my attitude toward compliments is changing as well, but really, only other individuals could tell me that for sure.

Within the past month or so, since I've dropped about 20 pounds or more, I've been trying a lot harder to appear the way I feel. I feel really good about the weight I've lost and the direction I'm heading so I've been attempting to portray that through the clothes I've been wearing. This whole thing is entirely new to me because I've never given much care to what I wore before now. And with that, I've noticed that I've been more confident in what I'm wearing and therefor more confident in myself as well. It really is a change for me, a new me in some ways.

I would not call myself a confident person, and I know I have a long way to go before I look the way I want to look, but it's a start, right? Now despite what this blog appears to be saying, I'm not asking everyone to tell me I'm beautiful or look great or anything like that, but I'm merely pointing out that hearing things like that further solidify that what I'm doing is working. I may not be very good at accepting a nice comment, but I know that those positive words of encouragement are certainly helping me achieve my long-term goals.

I guess the best thing to say right now is thank you! Thank you to everyone who has commented about the way I look and encouraged my weight loss journey. The blog-writing is lethargic; the words of encouragement are motivational.

I've added a photo of me today. These jeans were just bought this past weekend, size 16!!! That's a huge accomplishment for me. I think I've worn the sweater in a photo before, but you get the point.

Self-esteem is on the Rise!

Something's happening, and it's not something I'm quite used to, but my self-esteem is on the rise. I've had low confidence and practically no self-esteem for quite sometime. Ask anyone who knows me and they'll tell you that I don't take compliments well, I put myself down regularly and I even admit that I don't think very highly of myself.

All of those aspects of low self-esteem stem from the way I look and the way my looks have deteriorated from high school to present. In reality, I probably shouldn't think so negatively of myself; I'm college educated, I have a career, I'm engaged to be married, but I can never get over how awful I feel about the way I look.

However, what I've realized just this week, is that my confidence level is rising and I'm starting to see myself in a new light. I mentioned in an earlier blog how I'm feeling better in items of clothing and that, in turn, is showing more confidence, and it couldn't be more true. This morning I threw on an outfit and I've been complimented several times. Wow, twice in one week, what more could a girl ask for?!?! I know that my body hasn't changed too dramatically yet, but my mind has made the necessary shift from seeing myself negatively to seeing myself in a semi-positive light. Hopefully, as I continue to lose weight, get healthy and change my way of life, my confidence will grow even more and I will see myself as a beautiful person.

The photo I added to this blog today was taken by a friend using my iPhone. This is what I'm wearing right now. I feel good today!

The Clothing Issue

Last week my mom asked about clothes. She asked, "When can I expect to drop a size?" My answer for her was simple and extremely honest, "I have no idea."

Everyone trying to lose weight, and/or successfully losing weight is different. No matter what's being eaten, how much exercise is involved, etc., where the body loses the fat from first changes from person to person. My mom commented that she thinks she's losing the weight in her face and chest first, but not where she wants it gone the most -- her stomach. So, I thought about it for a few minutes, and I think I'm actually lucky because I'm losing it from my stomach and sides right off the bat.

Today is a good day to talk about this topic for me because last night I got inspired enough to try on a LBD (little black dress) that I bought when I first moved here two years ago. I have never worn it out in public, and I quickly outgrew it since I put on weight like I was stocking up for an Alaskan winter. So, last night I went into the closet, pulled out the dress and shimmied into it. I was floored to find out that it actually fit. Not only did it fit, but it looks pretty darn cute and it feels like an even better fit than I remember from when I first bought it. Whether that last part is true or not, who knows. I even brought Mike into the closet with me in case I needed someone to help wrestle me out of a too-tight piece of clothing.

Since the dress fit so great last night, I decided to take what I thought was a risk and where it to work with dressy sandals and a sweater. Turns out it looks pretty good because I've already received three compliments and it's only 8:30 a.m.!

So, my entire point with this story about the dress is that even just a little change (16 pounds so far for me) can have a huge impact on how clothes hang on your body. I still have a gut, and love handles, and what I consider to be a huge butt, but my pants aren't too snug around the waist, shirts are falling straight without clinging and I fit into that LBD! But then again, maybe it isn't that 16 pounds changed how clothes look on me, but maybe I'm gaining just a little bit of confidence and I'm changing how I view myself. Could that be it? Could confidence be the main factor? I guess only time will tell!