Cry-Baby Me.

I cried myself to sleep last night.

The fact that I cried myself to sleep isn't anything astounding, but it happened. It happens more often than I'm comfortable with, and usually I don't have a distinct or monumental reason to be crying. I'm just emotional ... apparently. The bizarre part is that for the longest time, as a teen and young adult, I didn't cry -- ever. Now, living in Las Vegas and having a life apart from everything I want to be around, I cry all the time.

The person that bears the brunt of these minor emotional breakdowns isn't me, but instead it's my husband. Last night I was lying on my side facing away from Mike trying to fall asleep. I didn't think there was a single thought in my mind, but one teardrop slipped from the corner of my eye and rolled down my cheek to my pillow. I didn't make a noise, and I don't think I even changed my breathing. Like a waterfall, several more tears streamed from my eyes and silently rolled down my face. At that moment, Mike snuggled closer to me and asked if I was okay. I know I was silent, so how did he know?! Truthfully, I think he can just tell when I'm having a rough moment, without seeing my face or having me say a word. Man, I love him.

The crying didn't last very long. For maybe 5-10 minutes i cried silently, but never pin-pointed a reason. Sometimes if I start crying I'll think about something sad like my pets getting lost or never moving back to the Midwest, and that fuels my tearful fire. I didn't do that last night though. I fell asleep shortly thereafter, and it became just another night where I cried myself to sleep without reason. How pathetic am I? One thing I have noticed is that I've done it more often since I've been on a weight-loss journey. As I've had distinct ups and downs I've simply been more emotional. Can't wait to see how I am if I ever get pregnant! LOL

Anyway, I'm really glad to be back in the mode of losing weight, eating right, exercising and blogging. It's been much better for me and I feel like I'm actually regaining my self-esteem and confidence in the way I look -- and that's only a few days in! We'll just have to wait and see what the future brings!