I Didn't Hate Shopping -- This Time!

For the first time I can remember, I didn't hate going shopping yesterday. I've pretty much relied on two pairs of jeans for the last few months. Both have the same cut, but one pair has the distressed look (yes I paid for pants with holes sewn into them) and the other are plain. However, since I've had them so long and my body has changed while wearing them, they both got baggy and just didn't look right. So, I decided yesterday was the day to buy a new pair of jeans.

I went to the Galleria at Sunset, a mall in Henderson, Nev. and searched for a pair of jeans, and anything else that struck my fancy. At New York & Co. I found a pair of jeans, a blouse and a skirt! As I was trying on clothes, I didn't hate myself, and even found that I was embracing the way I looked in the mirror. Instead of having a negative mind-frame and concluding that EVERYTHING looked horrible on my fat body, I was actually analyzing each piece of clothing determining whether it looked good or bad, tight or loose, etc. I think that it was the first positive shopping experience I've had in a very long time.

While walking through the mall, I also managed to find a tunic sweater at Macy's (which I'm wearing today). I also stopped at Victoria's Secret and realized that instead of just getting in and getting out with the bare essentials, I found myself thinking about the various types of undergarments. Usually I just think, ok, plain bra, plain panties, nothing special because my body looks horrible in all of it, but this time I looked at lace and colors and patterns. I may not be ready to strut around the house in some tiny negligee, but this is the first time I can remember spending more than 2.5 minutes shopping in a lingerie store. In my eyes, that's progress.

***Funny Revelation*** I just had a friend take a photo of me with my phone and while I was looking at it, prepared to upload it for the blog, I realized that the jeans I just bought are actually a little too big as well. I know the waistline is really comfortable, and maybe on the large size, but I didn't want to buy pants too snug -- I'm still too paranoid about my weight for that. Looks like I should have gone a size smaller! ***

Ok, well this blog was fairly random, sorry for the revelation in the middle, but it's another part of this process. It's funny that clothes become such a big part of peoples lives because that's what everyone else sees. I should probably just learn to embrace shopping, if I keep losing weight I'm going to end up spending a lot of time at the mall!