Pathetic?

This morning I was realizing that I'm literally less than two pounds from finally being out of the 200s. I was so excited that I jumped up and down a little bit and applauded myself for the progress I've made. It was after that point that I realized just how pathetic this whole thing actually is.

When I moved to Nevada two and a half years ago I weighed 170-175 lbs. and swore to myself that with this new location, job, life, that I would drop the weight I gained in college. Well that obviously didn't happen! Contrary to that, I gained 50-60 lbs. like it was my job. The pathetic part is that I let that happen to myself and I was okay with it for so long! Why in the world did it take someone else inspiring me or a mini epiphany to make the decision to lose weight. My weight was unhealthy, and it still is unhealthy, it's as simple as that, and that should have been enough to get my eating, exercising and growing waistline under control!

Today I stepped on the scale and saw 201.8. Today was the first time in more than two years that I weighed 201 lbs. That, to me, is pathetic. I can't sit here and swear up and down that I will never gain weight again or I won't ever reach 210, 220, 230 again because I don't know what life has in store, but I'm really praying that all that I've learned since August will stay with me and help me keep a better perspective on my life.