The Donts of Going to the Gym

After almost getting impaled by a pair of flailing arms attached to the strange little man "running" on the treadmill yesterday, I started compiling a list in my head of all the things you shouldn't do either in the gym or the locker room at a public athletic facility. Now as I've brought up this topic with other people, I realize that an entire book could be written in list-form going from one to a million about what you shouldn't do when waiting for a piece of equipment or proper shower etiquette, but here are a few of the every day items I run into at Las Vegas Athletic Club.

1. Never pretend to wildly box or flail your arms around when on the treadmill -- those treadmills are usually stacked fairly close together and even if you don't actually touch the person next to you, I guarantee they're noticing you invading their personal space.
2. Never, ever, under any circumstance ask the person nearest to you in the locker room to grab something you forgot by or in your locker when you're in the shower. I'm not your friend, and if you do that I will never be your friend. If you forgot your shampoo or loofah, please just turn the shower off, wrap your towel around you and grab the forgotten item(s) on your own. Being in a locker room in a public facility is nothing like being in a sorority girl's bathroom on Revenge of the Nerds or any other teenage angst and cult classic.
3. Don't engage in casual conversations when you're naked. This is another big locker room pet peeve of mine. If you just hopped out of the shower and are naked and preparing to get dressed and ready to leave, please put your clothes on before complimenting my top, asking about my iPhone or casually commenting about how packed the gym was today. Congrats if you're comfortable enough in your own skin to be a nudist, but that doesn't mean the people you're approaching want to see everything you're letting hang out.
4. Unless absolutely necessary like all machines are taken and you're in a time crunch, don't ask someone to "work in" with their sets on a machine or ask when they'll be finished with an elliptical or treadmill. There are so many exercises that one person can do and enough equipment to use that you can adjust your routine slightly or wait your turn for someone to finish using the machine you want to use. If you ask to "work in" with them, it becomes more time-consuming and a bigger pain in the ass to coordinate changing weights back and forth and adjusting the seats and rests that it would be for you to wait an extra five minutes. While I'm at it, don't hover either, it's just really rude and annoying. If you want the machine next, just tell me briefly and I promise I'll let you know when I'm finished.
5. My last "don't" for this short list is this: Don't loiter and make other people wait to use machines when you aren't really using them properly or at all. There's nothing worse than watching two teenage girls flirt with the guys while barely trotting on the treadmill while there's a line of people waiting. Or, watching some dude do 15 sets of two with too much weight on a machine because the chick across the aisle from him is really working hard at what she's doing. Believe it or not, some people want to get into the gym, get done with what they want and go on with their day.

When I go to the gym, I'm usually on some sort of time constraint. Although I may not have an important meeting or something to get to after I leave, I usually tell myself that I want to be home by such and such time so I can have dinner and relax. For instance, this afternoon I'm heading to the gym after work, but I want to be home by 5 p.m. so I can eat dinner, finish some housework and still have time to relax before bed. If I get to the gym at 3:20 and have to wait 15 minutes at every machine for people lazily doing what they're doing then there's no way I'll get everything done I want to get done and make it home by 5. Not the end of the world, but that's when etiquette comes into play.

I know there are a lot of little annoyances that people come across on a daily basis, but these are just a few things that I seem to see a lot at the LVAC I go to. I think it's all about being considerate. After all, this is a public place with people of all shapes, sizes and walks of life using the same facility.