Day 2 -Full Steam Ahead

I survived Day 1 of re-emerging myself into my diet. Woot woot! However, it's only day 1 so there's still a long road ahead of me. When I have one good day though, it usually puts me in the best frame of mind for the next day.

This time around is proving to be quite a bit different than last time. When I started the weight-loss journey before my wedding, I was working in a location where several of us took lunch breaks together and most commonly ate out at a nearby restaurant. Now, I'm working in a retail location and I take my breaks by myself allowing me to be the only person who influences where and what I eat. This time aroun

d, the responsibility is not only entirely my own (which it was before as well), but I have no o

ne else to blame my cheating on. Brilliant!

Over the past couple of months I've discovered some newer items on my local grocery store's

shelves that are perfect for my 30-minute lunches and still stick within the guidelines of my program. Healthy Choice Fresh Mixers (in the pasta aisle) are each around 300 calories, very filling and have a lot of flavor. My other

new favorite was introduced to me by The Wizard (my fearless leader at work). She recommend that I try Lean Cuisine's new Market

Creations (I call them frozen pouches). What an idea! They're delicious! The only problem I've had since first trying them is that I've had trouble finding grocery stores that aren't sold-out! The meals I've tried thus far have been under 300 calories and really tasty! I also think that traditional frozen meals taste pretty stale and icky, but these are fresh and light. If you haven't tried them yet and you want something quick & tasty for your work day, then go out and buy one!

This is funny - as I'm writing this I was looking online at Healthy Choice and Lean Cuisine's

websites to be sure I had the name of the products correct and I see that now Healthy Choice has released a product mirroring Lean Cuisine's! Time to try something new! I had plans to grocery shop with my husband tonight, and maybe this week I can taste test the frozen pouches from both lines! Results to come ....

Anyway, today is another work day, and for my 30-minute break I'm going to have soup. Something about chicken and vegetable soup on a windy, rainy and cloudy day sounds absolutely delightful. That 30 minutes will give me time to think about what to cook for dinner too. So many tasty options to choose from! I love looking forward to a meal without feeling guilty. One of life's many pleasures.

Who's in the Mirror?

I'm disappointed in myself. There's not a better way to describe the way I feel about myself at the moment other than to say I am completely and utterly disappointed. I haven't gained back all of the weight I lost or let myself get completely out of control, but I've reverted enough back to my old habits in order to not recognize who's looking back at me in the mirror.

Recap:

August 2009 - I weighed more than 230 lbs and was less than a year from getting married.

June 26, 2010 - My wedding day. I weighed 194 lbs and looked fantastic in my wedding gown.

Labor Day Weekend 2010 - I weighed 191 lbs and was confident.

November 2010 - I weighed 193-194 and felt good going into the holidays.

March 2011 - Today I weigh 209. What?

Sometime between November and the beginning of 2011 I lost all control of myself. I know I'm an emotional eater and a stress eater, but this is ridiculous. If I continue to let myself go in this direction then I will be back to my lifetime high weight before I know it, and I am determined to not let it get that far.

In order to get back on track, I should say it's time to go back to the drawing board, but the plan I was working before was perfect. So, it's not time to go back to square one, but it is time to re-commit myself to my basic goals and create new mini goals to strive for. That being said, I'm not sure what my super long-term goal is, but here is the start to the next phase in my weight-loss program.

Feb. 1, 2012 - This is my year goal. By this date I would like to weigh 170 lbs. In Feb. 2012, I am going with my parents, husband and family friends to Grand Cayman, and I'd like to wear a bathing suit without cringing.

June 1, 2011 - Step 1 goal. By this date I would like to be back to my weight-loss point of 192 lbs. Once I reach this goal, I'll be finished re-tracing my steps and ready to move forward.

So those are my two current goals. I know they're manageable, I just have to commit to making it happen. How am I going to do that you may ask? It's simple. I'm going to do the same thing I did last time. I'm going to watch what i eat and use programs like Lose It, Nutrition and Restaurant Info applications on my iPhone to help me eat according to my allowed calorie amounts. I'm also going to go to the gym a set number of times per week or exercise outdoors or at home when I don't get to LVAC. Lastly, I'm going to keep myself accountable of my progress and my pitfalls by continuing to blog.

Sorry I've been absent for so long. My only excuse is that I got lazy. Wish me luck please; I can use all the support I can get. Time to re-gain control of myself, and I can't wait to start seeing some progress.

Five Month Hiatus ... & a Lot of Changes

It's definitely been awhile since I've blogged, but I'm determined to get back into a regular routine. The last time I wrote I talked about my gall bladder surgery and the complications that came with it. Since that time there's been a true cornucopia of events in my life. Instead of boring you with all of the details, I'll offer a quick synopsis and maybe even a few photos!

May: surgery, last day at my job at Imagine Marketing, bachelorette party during a trip to Minnesota.

June: pre-wedding preparations, wedding & beginning of honeymoon in London.

July: honeymoon in London & visit with family in Minnesota and Wisconsin. Mike also had to work a lot of overtime while I adjusted to life without a job & searching for a new job.

August: the job

hunt continued, I struggled to keep a regular schedule.

September: Trip to Minnesota to visit family and friends, this also included a trip to the Minnesota State Fair! More job interviews and applications.

October: My birthday! I also interviewed with local companies including The Cosmopolitan,

but still no word on job placement.

Basically my life has been a blur from May until now. Every moment of every day leading up to our wedding and honeymoon was spent thinking about or preparing for the big events. And every ounce of preparation was

well worth it. The event was beautiful and exceeded every single expectation that we had!

As for my weight and how that has played into my day-to-day life, well, it's been a struggle. I maintained my weight really well leading up to the wedding to be sure my dress fit flawlessly, but I didn't give myself any restrictions during the wedding events and honeymoon. I figured that after a year of dieting, I deserved to enjoy our time in London!

Since I wasn't working I vowed to myself that I would keep a routine and pay close attention to my diet, but

it didn't always work out that way. The job search has been stressful and disappointing and for me, and that has led to stress-eating. I've always always always eaten my emotions. I have been good about getting to the gym, however. I think all of the work I'm doing at LVAC is being undone by the time I'm putting in, in front of the television.

So, this is my recommitment to myself. If I don't get my weight-loss back on track and keep with a plan then it's just going to lead to lower self-esteem and a greater struggle, right? I'm already struggling to find a job and so I don't need to continually feel bad about the way I look as well.

Today my husband (haha I'm married!!!) and I are enjoying a super relaxing day at the house. We'll watch a little college football and enjoy the fact that he's not working. I think as soon as I finish writing this I'll head to the gym so I can enjoy the rest of the day with him on the couch. Now that I have my determination back it's time to figure out what I want to do as far as the "diet" goes. Should I return to using the Lose It application on my iPhone religiously? Should I just cut out dairy and carbs? Any thoughts? I think I know that using the app is my best bet,

after all it helped me all last year right? I'm completely open to ideas!

I've added several photos throughout this blog from my wedding to my amazing husband Mike. We were married on June 26, 2010 in Oakdale, Minnesota and had a truly incredible reception in St. Paul. The best part about it was that when I looked in the mirror before the ceremony, I actually thought I looked beautiful! It's been a long time since I'd thought that about myself!

The Recovery Project

I woke up this morning exhausted. After a night of restless sleep, waking up at 3 am to watch TV and a lot of painful movements, I got out of bed for my first full day without all of the organs I was born with.

My gall bladder removal surgery didn't exactly go as planned, but in the long run, it was taken out and I was sent home to recover.

The day was a real whirlwind, but I was thankful to have my parents and Mike, my fiance, with me at the hospital yesterday. We were all at the out-patient surgery location by 8 am for my 10 am surgery. My mom came back to pre-op while my dad and Mike stayed out in the main lobby. I was only able to have one person by my bedside.

10 am came and went, the nurses went through a shift change, the anasetheologist came to see me then grabbed his lunch box and left, and my mom and I were left with a lot of questions while patients were shuttle in and out and released.

A nice RN named Bill finally gave me a straight answer, one that my surgeon has yet to cop to, and that was that my surgeon's office forgot to file the paperwork with the hospital, so I wasn't even on the books.

It was finally time to wheel me into the OR and the anasetheologist announced that he doesn't have approval from the insurance company to administer anasethia....and again we waited.

A new anasetheologist was assigned to me that was allowed by insurance and FINALLY it was time to go. I was in the OR by 3 and at recovery by 4. Mom, dad and Mike brought me home around 5:30 and my very very long day at Spring Valley Hospital was complete.

So .... Here I am, in a fair amount of pain and up 5 lbs from the anasethia and ingested gas, and I can't wait to eat normally again.

There were a few complications along the way -- the saline line was improperly placed causing my wrist to be filled with saline and go 100% numb -- amongst other things but it's all done now. I just hope that 5 lbs disappears!!!

Thanks for all of the support and well wishes!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:My Couch

Good Bye Gall Bladder

It's official, my gall bladder is coming out.


I visited with the surgeon at Spring Valley Hospital in Las Vegas yesterday and he said that it's absolutely necessary that I have my gall bladder removed. My surgery is scheduled for next Monday, May 10.


Although it's not an imminent threat (I could put it off for up to six months), he said it's the best way to combat the serious tummy issues I've been having for 12-18 months. Also, he said some of the things that trigger gallstone attacks could cause problems in the next couple of months. As it turns out, flying can trigger a gallstone attack if there's a pre-existing problem, and changing your diet can also cause problems. I've been flying a lot and will be flying a ton in the next couple of months and I've lost 40 lbs since August! Now I know why the problems have caused so much pain!

My doctor recommended that I have it removed as soon as possible so I am fully recovered and can eat, drink and be merry on my wedding day. What a splendid idea! I will have six and a half weeks to fully recover, which is plenty of time since the surgery is going to be done laprascopically. I may have to watch my fat intake and other food-related issues, but I'll be ready to dance the night away with my new hubby!

Thanks to everyone for showing care and concern, and for offering words of advice. I'm really grateful that my parents are flying out to Vegas on Sunday in order to be there for me when I have surgery and help take care of me when I come home. It'll be nice to have Mike and my parents around!

I'll let you all know how it goes. I'm hoping for a quick recovery!

Dieters Beware!

I know I haven't been around in awhile, but it's because I haven't had much to say. I feel like I hit a rut or a period of time when all I wanted to do was take a step back. With work and the wedding creeping up on me, I made it more of a priority to take time for myself. As far as weight goes, I'm still hanging around 195 lbs. Up a few times and down a few times.

On April 9 I had my first bridal gown fitting and the dress looked great! Now I need to maintain this weight until the wedding so I don't need any major alterations!

What I really wanted to address today is an ailment that has recently affected me, and the doctor said that a lot of it could be related to weight loss. On Friday morning, Mike brought me to the ER for severe abdominal pain. It turns out I have gall stones, and have had them for an estimated 12-18 months. I have an appointment with the surgeon tomorrow to discuss the removal of my gall bladder.

As I've been researching gallstones and gall bladder removal, what I've learned is that gall stones are found most commonly in people who are overweight and people who are losing weight. Not only was I/am I overweight, but I've lost 40 pounds in 8 months. I'm a prime candidate! Since most people don't have symptoms, it took until just recently for me to notice that they were even there.

Some signs to look for include: pain in the pit of your stomach or upper right portion of your stomach/abdomin, pain in your upper back/shoulder blades, fever or chills, and yellowing of the skin and whites of the eyes.

I had no idea that losing weight could cause a problem like gallstones, or cause the gallstones to become more apparent. My mother had emergency gall bladder surgery when I was in elementary school. She told me that she was trying to lose weight when her gallstones became a problem as well. On top of that, it appears to be genetic to some extent.

I'm looking forward to the visit with the doctor tomorrow. I'm afraid that if we don't remove the gall bladder that I will have another "attack" in mid to late June or in July when I'm on my honeymoon in London. If I have another attack then it's pretty much guaranteed that the gall bladder needs to be removed, and if it's too close to June 26 then I really won't have enough time to properly recover. What a pain!

I'll let you all know how the visit with the doctor goes. In the mean time, here's a photo of me snapped today. I didn't step on the scale this morning because my body is pretty messed up from the various medications I'm on due to this most recent issue. I'll jump on the scale again tomorrow!

A Minnesotan Adventure

To be fair, Mike and I also went to Wisconsin during our trip to Minnesota this past weekend, but I figured it would make the title far too long.

Last week I was busier than ever planning our wedding planning trip to Minnesota. It felt like such a long time coming since I've been arranging appointments, answering questions about bridal shower guest lists and coordinating meet-and-greets with friends for weeks on end. When the time finally came to board the flight back to the Midwest I was ecstatic, and then all of a sudden it was over again.

All in all, however, we had an amazing trip. On Friday we had wedding appointments galore and spent the entire day with my parents, wedding coordinator and maid of honor. The dress fitting went swimmingly and I looked great in the gown (if I do say so myself) and the hair and makeup run-through went well also. I'm not quite sure it was the best idea to do the food tasting for the reception just hours before the gown fitting, but it all worked out for the best. Hehehe.

I know this blog isn't about my weight or food today, but there was just too much going on over the weekend to focus on just food. I ate WAY too much between the food tasting, bridal shower and family dinners, but every single calorie was well worth it. Now I just need to get back on track and maintain my weight so I look perfect on June 26 in my gown.

A few weeks ago I told you all about the dress I bought for my shower and although I don't happen to have a photo from the shower yet (I didn't have my camera), I am wearing it to work today and I've posted that photo here. I have images of me in my gown and veil and with my hair and makeup done, but you'll all just have to wait for the big day to see those details!

So here's my plan to get back on track starting today: A shake and banana for breakfast, subway for lunch and Progresso soup with oyster crackers for dinner. I suppose I should hit the gym too! Wish me luck, I could use a bit of motivation!