I Survived My Lunch

First of all I want to thank everyone who sent me Facebook messages, left comments on my blog, texted me and responded via Twitter to my cry for help regarding my lunch situation. The lunch went fantastic by the way, and I found something to eat that wasn't too far off my health/weight-watching radar.

We went to Landry's Seafood House by Palace Station in Las Vegas. Off their lunch menu I ordered "Chicken and Mushrooms." The dish was simple: grilled chicken w/sauteed mushrooms with some sort of a mushroom-based cream sauce drizzled over it. That was served with a light rice pilaf and steamed broccoli. When I looked it all up, it actually falls well within my calorie count, so I was satisfied.

As for the meal itself, unfortunately it was the driest piece of chicken I have ever eaten. I ate all of it though because I was starving!

Thanks again everyone for your great suggestions. As always, I love advice and learning from others who have gone through or are going through the same journey as me!

In a Tough Spot

So, I need some help, and anyone with ideas please feel free to comment.

I'm heading to lunch in two hours for a business meeting, and I'm going to a restaurant I've never been to before. Now, I've been in this situation before and I did what I always do: I looked up the menu online and rifled through it to find something to order before I actually go to the restaurant.

Here is where I reach my dilemma. We're going to a seafood restaurant and I don't eat seafood or fish of any kind. There are other items on the menu, but the non-seafood/fish items are all pastas or fried or are extremely high in carbs, calories and fat. So, what do I do without A) Being Rude, B) Starving or C) Cancelling?

I could order I side salad, I suppose, or a pasta and only eat a third of it. Do any of you have suggestions?

By the way, I'll write another post after lunch to let you know what happened and what I chose to do. Please Help Me!

Dear Santa ...

In college I had a professor that asked us to write a letter to Santa Claus. She said it was cathartic and also a good writing exercise. Before that class, the last time I wrote a letter to Santa was when I was still writing with crayons. I'm sure I asked for things like Legos and Barbies or playing cards, and in college I asked for a new cell phone or car or a trip to the Caribbean. This year I've decided to revive the tradition and write a good, old-fashioned letter to the jolliest man we know. So, here goes...

Dear Santa,

I don't know if I've been good this year because I think that term is relevant, but I know I've tried hard to be a good person and given my all to fulfilling my commitments. I'm fortunate in that I'm not left wanting a lot, my fiance tends to spoil me rotten, but I've managed to find a thing or two that I would love to receive under or adjacent-to my proverbial tree this year.

If you have an extra one in your bag, I'd love a trip to London. I know we're spending our honeymoon there, but I truly can't get enough. If you'd like to throw in a flat in Kensington, I wouldn't mind that either. Also, if you happen to specialize in guidance, I'd love a kick in the right direction toward figuring out what I want to do with my life and career. I may be 26, but I'm no closer to knowing that I want to be a doctor, lawyer or Pulitzer-prize winning writer now than I was at 16.

Lastly, and I doubt you can find this in your bag of presents (perhaps liposuction equipment or diet pills, but I want neither of those), could you please find a way to get rid of my belly fat, love handles, excessively large boobs and tree-trunk thighs? I'd really appreciate for all the excess of Me to disappear overnight, preferably from Dec. 24 to Dec. 25. That would be a perfect gift.

Love,

Beth

Hmm, something tells me I'm not going to get anything in that last paragraph for Christmas, at least not directly from Santa like he waived a magic wand or something so I'll just have to stick to my own hard work. The other ideas have merit though. I'll have to let you all know if any of my Christmas wishes come true! What do you want for Christmas? If you share your letters here, maybe it can be a one-stop-shop for the big guy in the red suit.

Weight Causes Clinical Depression For Some

I wasn't surprised to get a large number of responses when I asked my readers about weight-gain and how that relates to feelings of depression, but I was surprised by the poll's actual results.

Ninety-three percent of readers who answered the poll responded to "has your weight ever caused you to be depressed?" with a favorable response, leaving only 7% who answered negatively. Of those 93% who answered yes, more than 20% said they've become clinically depressed either now or at some point in time, because of their weight.

That number is astounding. More than 20% of individuals who are reading my blog have been labeled clinically depressed as a result of their weight. I didn't specify what the issue with weight was in the question, whether it's an eating disorder, weight gain or even dramatic weight loss, but my assumption is that the majority of people who answered the question and who are reading this blog on a regular or semi-regular basis responded based on weight gain.

I don't answer the questions myself, but if I would have answered this poll, I would have selected "yes, but not clinically depressed." Although I've never sought treatment due to the anxious feelings I've experienced because of the weight I've gained over the last five years, I have still gone through many ups and downs. It's very tiring and the thoughts have weighed very heavily on my mind about what I'm wearing and how other people perceive me, what I'm eating and whether or not someone sitting across the table sees a fat girl shoveling chow into her mouth. It's a feeling of being very insecure overall and it was pretty much the main emotion I've experienced for several years.

It wasn't until I made the actual decision to take control, not only of my weight, but of the way I look and the way I portray myself to the public, that I've been able to shift the way my mind thinks. I'm not so worried or obsessed about whether or not someone else sees me as fat or ugly, etc., but now I put more energy into how I perceive myself. If I think I look good then confidence is growing. What I've noticed is that the more confidence I gain, the more often someone else, whether stranger or friend, notices what I'm wearing. I've been complimented more times in the past 3 months (the amount of time I've been on this weight loss journey) than I had been the entire 10 years prior. Now I know that that just seems like a sad statistic, but don't get me started on my ex-boyfriends and those self-esteem issues. Just kidding .... sort of.

So, since this is such a large issue, I decided to talk with a doctor/friend of mine about the fundamental problems that are linked with weight gain and depression issues. He helped me narrow down a couple of pointers that have helped me, and can help other people keep those feelings of self-loathing, depression and or anxiety at bay. Losing weight is a process, it's a long journey that takes time and doesn't just happen over night. My friend told me that changing your frame of mind also takes a lot of time. So, start small and get big -- in a non-weight-gaining type of way. Here are his suggestions: control your stress in whatever manner works for you without eating the entire contents of the fridge (i.e. exercise, meditation, relaxation); get plenty of sleep (even if it means taking a Tylenol PM to kick start your first 8-hour sleep-athon); catch some rays. With the last one, I know it's not possibly to sit outside and enjoy a picnic in the sunlight when it's 30 degrees, but he suggested spending more time in well-lit areas outside the office and or hitting the tanning bed once or twice to avoid seasonal depression which also leads to piling on layers and feeling fat due to extra clothing.

It's a lot to take in, but I hope a couple of these suggestions can help you. I've been trying harder lately to get a lot more sleep and hitting the gym has definitely helped keep me calm. As for the tanning, well I avoid tanning beds like the plague, but I do try to go outside for a long walk every once in awhile just to enjoy the sunlight and fresh air (even if it is only 30 degrees).

The photo in this blog was taken today. I'm down a total of 26 lbs since starting and I feel great.

200 in 10 Days

Well we're coming down to the final days before I return to Minnesota for the first time since Memorial Day weekend. This trip is important for me too because not only are we seeing my entire family and many of our friends, but we will be mingling with Mike's family and extended family for his nephew's christening. Also, we're taking our engagement photos the day after Thanksgiving so the way I look on that day will be kept forever as digital art. I must, must, must feel good about the way I look that day.

My goal in October was to reach 200 lbs by my 26th birthday. I didn't do it, if you remember, but I got awfully close. Now, almost four weeks after that day, I still haven't reached the 200 mark, no matter how close I've come. I've ridden a couple of ups and downs with getting sick and feeling stressed, but I haven't gained a ton of pounds, nor have I lost those last precious few to reach that goal. Now is the time to do it!

This morning I weighed in at a dreaded 208.8 pounds after indulging in an early Thanksgiving dinner and eating relatively unhealthily while sick for a week. That means I have 10 days (until I fly home late Wednesday evening before Thanksgiving) to lose 8.8 pounds. Now I know what you're thinking, lose 8.8 pounds in that short amount of time? I know it sounds crazy, but my weight fluctuates like crazy between 209 and 204 so I don't think it'll be that difficult to get back down to the 204-5 range and from there it's all about pushing myself both with what I'm eating and at the gym. Now is the time to concentrate and stay on track!

Right now in the kitchen I have puppy chow (muddy buddies to some of you), apple pie, candy, cheesy puffs, pudding and leftover pizza from Papa Johns. Those are some of my favorite foods, yet I didn't indulge even the slightest all day. That may not seem like a big deal, but I've been sitting at home almost all day working on my computer with no one else in the house. Do you know how easy it is to get carried away with eating snacks when you're bored and alone?!?!?! It's my worst nightmare for a situation!

I can't wait to go back to Minnesota in 10 days. I've been dreaming about seeing my family and friends and doing some hands-on wedding planning stuff. Not to mention the fact that Mike and I can't wait to meet our baby nephew, Evan! So, I guess you should all wish me luck and help motivate me these next few days. I'm going to need all the luck I can get with this one!

The Seasons Are A Changing

I can tell that the seasons have officially shifted in Las Vegas. It took a little longer than normal for the heat of summer to wear off and the chill of fall to arrive, but alas, it is finally here. Just two weeks ago we hit temperatures in the low nineties and now we're happily resting securely in the 60s. This is the weather I love. However, this weather does horrible things for my body and my diet!

I can always tell when the weather is officially shifting form season to season. My skin gets a little dry and even peels, and my appetite switches from craving refreshing items like fresh fruit and turkey wraps to mashed potatoes, hot dish and steak.

Considering last night I wanted a New York strip, mashed potatoes and bread, I'm thinking my body has recognized it's want for foods with great warming qualities. However, I think it's less about warming the body and more about warming the soul --- providing that comforting sensation during the holiday season and cold months. I am from the upper Midwest after all and haven't been out of that region for very long.

Now, have no fear, I did not give in to my temptations last night, but I know these next few months will be difficult because "winter foods" are always higher in carbs, higher in fat and higher in calories. I'm really going to need to train myself to still want low-cal turkey wraps and fresh veggies instead of all the fattening goodness --- and that's not even touching on the fact that Christmas cookie season is right around the corner!!!

Well, this entire process is about ups and downs and overcoming the never-ending challenges. This is just the latest challenge to take head-on and push through . I'm sure I'll have something new to survive in the spring when the weather changes from cold to warm.

Staying steady -- and sick

Hey everyone, I'm sorry my blog has been a little meager lately. I'm still getting over this flu/cold bug and it's driving me nuts! I haven't been keeping track of my calories while I'm sick since I've been ingesting lots of carbs, juices and fluids, all of which seem to be higher in calories than I normally eat.

By the end of this weekend I should be at 100% again (I'm at about 75% right now), and I should be getting back to the gym too. I can't wait!

Not only do I feel awful, but mentally I feel bad because I'm not doing as well as I was. So, as soon as I feel rested, I'm getting back to it.

Check back tomorrow, I'm thinking of hitting the gym after work!